Healing from Work Woes, Pit Bull Predicaments, and Finding Inner Strength

This is The Unholy Union. A podcast where you'll be subjected to highly offensive marital discourse. If you do not feel insulted during this week's episode, don't worry, we'll try harder next week. If you can relate to our ramblings, we wanna be friends with you. If you believe that we take it too far or our mouths are too much for you, then with as much love and sincerity as we can muster, you can suck it. Welcome to the Unholy Union.

Sick.

I don't get it. Why do our podcast intros, like, it seems like 90% of the time Is one word? It's it's one word, and it's always has to do with some kind of illness.

Just, I guess, what's going on recently is

lots of I don't know how we're still alive.

Well, you're fine. Let's be clear. Not really. I've got a I feel like I'm working on a little bit of a migraine, but

I think that's just lack of sleep. I could not sleep last night. Well, yeah. We're on fever watch right now with kiddos. So getting up, taking temperature, making sure medicine's on the right cycle, blah blah blah blah blah. And last week what was it last weekend? No. The weekend before, it was lice again. Mhmm.

Yeah. It's just constant.

We we need and now I feel like I'm getting sick. I feel nasally, so I probably sound funny. Yeah. She sounds like Darth Sidious. We'll get through it. No worries. We're okay. We're hanging out. We're good. So guess what we did? What did we do? We had 0

additional,

let's be clear, credit card debt for Christmas. I know. That's a freaking huge deal for us. I think that'd be a huge deal for most people. Yeah. Yeah. Being able to pay for Christmas outright rather than spending it on credit cards and pay later. Right. Or what we were doing, just not paying and paying interest.

Yes. Trying to catch up when credit card interest rates are astronomical. You just can't. Right. So we did it through Qube. I think we've talked about it. I don't know how many times now, but Yeah. It's digital envelope budgeting system.

It is a lifesaver.

I agree. It

actually makes you responsible because you can't spend money that you don't have. Right. Debit cards all day is pretty much what it is, except for the additional

check, if you will,

the additional

due diligence that you have to do to make sure you have money available for that spend. Yes.

Yep. It's pre budgeting, which is nice because

we tried the budgeting apps.

They never work because it's after the fact. So it's like, oh, I already blew through too much money this month. Mhmm. Never worked for us. Yep. So cube all day, and we got through Christmas. Yeah. Not to mention our kiddo's birthday and we went to Disney. Like, we did a lot in the month of December

and we were able to not add to our cake. Right. And we did so one thing that we did do that we thought was wise, we both telework now.

We got rid of one of our cars. Yep. We had we have 2 we had 2 big cars. We have a

van, which is our

recreational

vehicle

that we take to the beach, we take to Disney, things of that nature. And

what is it called?

Mountain bike transportation. There you go. Yep. Taxi for mountain bikes. That's what I'm trying to say. But yeah. So it's that.

And then we had a an SUV,

which was

your commuter

for the longest time. Well,

you work from home now, so we said,

no reason to have a 2 big cars with 2 pretty big payments. Right. And we sold it,

and we bought a tiny car.

Literally, that's what we call it. Yeah. So it is a Spark EV,

and

it was

like $8,000.

Right?

But our neighborhood

is

semi golf cart friendly,

and we were just gonna get a golf cart. Yeah. But you have to get it road legal because our neighborhood isn't designated to have them not licensed. Right. So, we were gonna do that though.

The problem with all that is

the pricing is super expensive. A street legal

golf cart is, like, $13,000.

Right.

We were gonna do it though, but the problem is is we are in the lightning capital of the US, and golf carts are not safe in lightning.

Tropical storms, you know, the various things that happen in Florida. So we didn't wanna do that. The spark was, like, the next step.

It was,

like I said, $8,000.

It's encased in metal, so you're safe in a thunderstorm.

Right. It's essentially a golf cart, but I can go 80 miles an hour in it too if I needed to.

I hope you never have to go 80 miles per hour in our neighborhood. I might. No. There's some jack offs to do that already. Oh, my God. Don't give me stars on that. Moving on.

So, yeah, we took a look at our finances.

You know, again, can't can't say enough about Cube. We're not endorsed by them, but we freaking love it at this point.

But took a look at the finances, started to trim out some things, and, again, made it through

Christmas. Yeah. That car, it's surprising how much

a car cost you every month,

especially when you realize you're like, that thing's sitting in the driveway. Right.

It was

I don't even know. Insurance in Florida is not cheap, period. Right.

And that on top of

a car loan is not fun. Well, speaking of cars, did you know

that kids in Florida, along with their driver's test in order to get their license, they also have to do a drug and alcohol test? It's not what you're thinking though.

They don't have to piss in a cup. No.

That was what I initially thought when I heard this. I would have been like, no. We're not doing this. This is

not nice.

What?

No. Is that not nice? Because they don't they can't do that to

give you your license, like, make you piss in a cup.

Why not? Bullshit.

Wait. Hold on. Okay. So let's go back to the original thing, and then we'll come back to this this topic. Okay. So the original thing is

Florida kids have to take a drug and alcohol test before they can get their license along with their driver's test.

The actual drug and alcohol test that they take though is written. Right? Yeah. Yeah. It's an online test, ain't it? Yeah. It's like 4 hours. They have to sit in, like, a lecture and then Four hours of don't do drugs? Yeah. And I think there's, like, a mini quiz testing at the I don't know. My god. Something along those lines, and it's like DARE. Right? Like, what we did in the nineties. Yeah. D, I I won't do drug. Okay. Anyways We got you. I I you didn't have to do that in Virginia.

That wasn't a thing. No. The the thing that got or that gets most people in Virginia is a sign test. Right. They kill your you can't miss one. Uh-huh. That's some bullshit. I I failed that, like, twice. Did you really? Yeah.

Because I got nervous. You're standing up there. It's like you're standing in front of people.

Well, I'm like a kiosk. Yeah. Yeah. But you're standing up. It's not like a test in a room where you're like a You're in the bubbles? Yeah. You're standing at a computer screen and you're selecting things and you just wanna get it done because you're standing up and it's just awkward. Yeah. Well, it makes me wonder, like, do they I know they do stuff at the schools, like, to teach kids, you know, drugs are bad and all those things. But

so it it almost sounds like a dare class, though. Like, what we did, I it was my 5th grade that we did that. Yeah. Me too. So it's it's interesting. A police officer taught it. But to your point though, that was originally what I thought that that it was either a piss or blood test

in order to get their license.

And what would be wrong with that? What do you mean what would be wrong with that? Don't you think that would help keep people

who have

issues with drugs and or alcohol that typically happen in high school

or that at least start in high school,

keep them off the road. Like, maybe the DUI kids, the ones that get drunk from a party and go drive. Yeah. But now now you're slippery sloping and saying guilty until proven innocent.

Not necessarily.

Yes. You are. Because you're forcing people that

You have to take a drug test or a pee test, right,

before you can get a job. I understand. So what's the difference between that and the responsibility

of being a responsible driver?

Because we pay for these roads, and

we are taxed

to pay for these roads and

the DMV and all that shit.

Okay. They serve us. It's not a job,

but to me,

you're paying for these roads and shit. You can't you can't make somebody do a drug test like that. I mean, like an invasive drug test. That's invasive.

That's a privacy issue.

Okay. So I can see your point because what if they tried to do that for voting. Right? Like, maybe Yeah. They won't they won't even fucking check your ID for that shit. Don't get me started.

But I know. But if, if you take it to the point of, okay, you need this for your driver's license. Okay. You need this in order to vote. Okay. You know, like, all the things. Right? It's the government. It's totally different than a private company. A private company can say, we don't want anybody that's on drugs here.

And, yeah, that's that's

true for driving too. We don't want people under the influence of anything on the road, but you can't

automatically assume they are on drugs and say, well, you gotta do a drug test or else you fail. But that's not what I'm saying, though. I'm not saying you pick out certain people to give it to. I'm saying anyone who gets their license has to take the test. So it'd be the same across the board. But how do you do that? That that

doesn't make sense because that's you are making someone a criminal.

That's not true. Yeah. You're forcing them to take a drug test

because other people do bad things. It's not

right. Well, a lot there's even the stance that people should take drug and alcohol test in order to receive welfare

or other sort of benefits.

So, I mean, I see the argument

that it's, almost like a barrier to entry. Like, you have to be responsible

in order to get these benefits.

But I can also understand your argument. What you're trying to say is that driving is not a benefit.

We pay into the roads, blah blah blah.

But Yeah. They do say driving is a benefit though or it's it's a privilege. Yeah. It's a privilege, which is bullshit. Right. It's bullshit because

we pay for these roads.

It's not like those roads out there are being built

by the gover or by

Joe Schmo. Right. But I don't want irresponsible people on the road with me. I don't either.

But how do you The barrier to entry is So then but but then that goes a step further, then you need to take a drug test once a month to keep driving. Right. I agree. Like the like you said, it's a slippery slope. I can understand

because what else would it then become? Yeah. That's why they do the interlocks for alcoholics

because they were caught fucking up. Right.

You have to now do a breathalyzer before your car starts.

That's totally different because you got busted for being for abusing alcohol and driving. Right. I get what you're saying,

but I still think that there is a valid argument in saying that it would be a barrier to entry for any such

benefit. But, again,

is driving a benefit. Well and then you do you have to have a COVID shot to drive?

I get what you're saying. I said, I understand slippery slope. It's bad when you start giving rights

like that over to the feds and stuff or any type of government agency. It it it turns into a nightmare. They don't do very good things with that data.

True. And, I mean, I take it a step further and think about the pitbull ban in UK right now.

I don't know how I feel about that. I don't either.

I

understand

that there is more to a dog than its breed. Right?

But

what was the dog bred for? The dog those dogs are fighters. Right. They're

literally fighting dogs. Have you seen a pit bull? The freaking head is like an alligator.

What was that comedian? I can't think of what his name is now, but he said a pit bull, the way it walks, its muscles and its shoulders hunching over. Yeah. You can't you can't say, oh, that's such a nice dog. They have fucking pit bulls. Ain't nice dogs.

They were bred for a purpose, and it's that's fighting. Like, they're

killers. Right. And when they do get ahold of you, if they get a hold of you,

you really don't stand a chance. Right. There have been too many stories of that exact fact. Exactly. And why do you think insurance companies ask you what dog breed you have? Right. Because they're liable for what happens inside your house. So if you have a house sitter and they get mauled by your dog,

you have to pay extra insurance for that purpose because pit bulls are known for that kind of shit. Right. It sucks. Now, do I think

the current

living

pit bulls

should be destroyed?

Absolutely not. No. I think that's too far.

Like, you

wanna say no more breeding of pit bulls?

I could I could be okay with that. I I think I could understand that a little more than saying

any because what's happening right now is any pit bull that is in

a pound in the dog pound in the UK That's putting them down. Is gonna be euthanized. Yeah. I don't like that. That is a step too far because it's still a life. It's still a dog. It's still

something that didn't choose to be where it's at. Right. Right.

So to say maybe stopping the breeding of pit bulls,

okay. I can maybe get behind that. Yeah. I think I could too because you don't

you don't breed lions Right. On purpose to to have them as pets, and that sounds really stupid, but

lions are vicious

and so are pit bulls. Right.

Do I think people should have pit bulls as pets? Not probably not,

unfortunately.

Obviously, there's still some that are in the system that

but I don't really think that that should be a breed

that continues, I guess, you could say. Like, just let them go.

Don't kill them. Don't breed them. Right. Don't breed them and let them slowly fizzle out. Time will do that. Yep. Because there's other dog breeds out there. I mean, pit bulls part something and part something else, I'm sure. So you still have I don't know.

I don't I'm not a fan of those dogs, to be honest with you. They scare me just because

a lot of the time those horror stories are about kids. Right.

And it terrifies me because

our kid plays outside.

Somebody's not

a lot of people are then that's the other thing too. People are assholes and they are careless with their dogs. Yep.

You

you have to have them on a leash, and if you are not strong enough to hold on to a pitbull's leash, then you shouldn't have the dog. Right.

Because they if that thing takes off after something and it's got that instant prey drive, it's done.

Like, you have to be powerful enough

to yank that thing back

and essentially break it out of its fury. Yep. If you don't the trance. Yeah. If you don't, bad things will happen. Yep. So I again, I think I can get behind the idea of stopping the breeding of pit bulls. Yeah.

But what's happening in the UK with the euthanization, like, it's sad. I don't like that either. No.

It's still an animal,

and I like animals, especially dogs. Do you like turtles?

I do like turtles. Me too.

I'm gonna get you one as a pet, I think.

After you had salmonella

in high school from petting a tortoise, I don't Yes. Think that would be a good idea. The class pet, and then I accidentally told the doctor about it, and he had to report the school.

I felt so bad about it. And turtle's still there though. Yeah. Still kicking. He's fine. But the teacher posted a picture of him the other day. I've had you for what it was. I think it was, like, 18 years or something. I was 30. Well, in in this high school. Oh, gotcha. I don't think she's been there for 30 years. Maybe she has now. I mean, how old are we? Yeah. Maybe it is because 35.

I'll be dead soon.

That was too far. Okay. We're gonna take it back to a lighter note. Well, actually, not really lighter. One of the big topics that I wanted to talk about today is something that I feel

I need to get out of my system. We haven't done it yet

because I felt like I needed time in order to process. For sure. You've got a small case of PTSD from this. For sure.

So I think I'm at a point now where I'm okay to talk about it, meaning that it's not going to, like, send me into

Depression mode. Right. Mental

toxicity.

Well, not only that, we did have that interview last

episode with Phoebe, and she had a lot of insight involved in

utilizing employees that shouldn't that maybe they're not supposed they shouldn't be in this spot.

Their skill sets shows them here,

but

the company doesn't adjust to that person well,

and then they funnel them into whatever they want to mold them into, even though it doesn't make sense.

She had a lot of insight into things like that,

which I think

kind of

it made you feel better. Yeah. One thing that really sparked for me, one of the things that she said was

she couldn't

or I'm sorry. One thing that she said was she lost her identity

in working at one of her workplaces.

Yes.

That was a 100% you. Absolutely.

I can't stress this enough. So let me let's take a step back real quick. I worked at a company

for,

over a year and a half,

and the role was administrative role, so I was supporting

executives.

And it was a role that

I was comfortable with when I accepted it. Yeah. I interviewed with 4 different groups of people at the company.

I liked the company, the mission. I could get behind it. I was all in. Right?

And even the people I worked for, I really liked them. I At first. Right? At the beginning.

When I went into the company, when I started, I was all in. Like, I Yeah. I was all in for you because it's

the the like you just said, the mission was awesome. Right.

It was something that I felt like I could get behind, and I was all in.

Well,

as

the job progressed and I got more into the groove, I found my, essentially, quote unquote, place, if you will,

I really felt like I started to lose myself.

I was trying really hard

to fit a role that they needed. Right?

Right. And didn't feel like I was being myself.

Yeah. You were being pressured into

changing.

Yep. Not

the other way where they should be changing and absorbing you

for your strengths. Right. So I truly felt like I lost my identity. Well and what's

interesting about that whole experience too was

you were told you were going to be put in

the area of strength for you. Right.

So

over the year and a half

of being at this company,

I started getting a lot of promises. Like, within the first 6 months,

I was having

literally sit downs with executive leadership, and they were telling me big things were coming my way.

And over

the last part, so 1st 6 months, big things are coming your way. And then from there forward to another 12 months, it was promise, promise, promise. Yeah. You were collaborating

to design

your role. Right.

And it ended up becoming

something minuscule

to It was almost

a step down from what your current job was. Right.

It was essentially a slap in the face. Yes.

That is all happening. Right? All of these pieces of

the idea of growing within this company. Right? And then the slap in the face comes, it's not gonna happen. But on top of all that, again, I'm trying to fit a mold that I'm starting to realize isn't me. For sure. What they wanted

was not

who I was,

and me trying to force it was literally

killing me. It was sucking the life out of you. What it's not just

them forcing you into this in this mold that you didn't fit. It was

forcing you in

for our

way after hours Mhmm. Every day.

I never knew, so I try to cook dinner at a certain time or

wait for you so we can go out to eat,

and I never knew what time you were gonna get home. So half the time, I would still cook at 5 o'clock,

and then I would feed me and the kiddo, and then yours would be in the fridge. Yep. That's home. Because I I I never knew, and I couldn't rely on

Even communicating with me. Right. Because you'd say, hey.

We're we're scheduled to leave early today, so I'll be home at 3.

Nope. Didn't happen. Got home at 7 o'clock. Yeah. 7 o'clock. And you and you left early too. It was like, well, yeah, you left here about 7 o'clock. Mhmm. So it was, like, 12 hour shift, and that's Monday through Friday. Yep. And then on the weekend, sometimes you had to take phone calls and shit. Yep.

So

I got to a point where I realized

this wasn't for me. I

lost myself to the point where I didn't have a sense of

my family. Not that you guys weren't there for me, but I wasn't involved anymore. Well, you weren't there. Right. You were in I'm physically.

Yeah. You were an empty shell because

you got home at 7, you ate dinner

Went to bed. And we we get our kiddo to bed at about well, we don't get her to bed at 8. We start getting her ready at 8. Yep. She's in bed by 8:30.

So you had 30 minutes. Yep.

It was messed up. Yep. And then it that created I mean, it sounds terrible because

it makes me sound like I'm a tool, but

it created distance between us too because I don't think that makes you sound like a tool. I think

the pressure

of what I felt was spilling into our family. Well, and then I felt pressure Exactly. Because I felt like I would not single dad because, no, that's not true.

But after school?

Yeah. Kinda. Mhmm. Because it's like, alright. Well,

I gotta make sure she gets home. I gotta make sure she sits down and does her homework. I gotta make sure that she's fed. I if I can't let her starve because I'll go to jail.

So it really did just snowball

into this

idea of well, not not idea. It literally just snowballed into

total loss of identity. I lost myself. I was in almost full depression mode.

All it got to the point where there's a lot of gaslighting and toxicity

Yes.

To the point where my manager

is saying one thing to me and literally looked at me at one point. She has been

what do I wanna

call it? Gaslighting me about this new role for months. Right. Well, she was one she was the main one to help you design this role. Right. For months, she had been gaslighting me about it. And when I finally confronted her after she brought it up again Yeah. And basically forced the issue like, Is this happening or not? And she goes, You're not connected to reality. Yeah.

Your issues aren't based in reality or something like that. Exactly. So she's she's saying you're a fucking lunatic. Right.

So at that point, I was done. I had a coworker, a couple well, it's probably been almost 5 years at this point,

say to me that

you can find peace at work or at home, and a lucky few have peace in both.

It's when you don't have it in either place

that your health takes the impact.

And that's where I got. Yeah. I got to the point where I did not have peace at work.

I did not have peace at home, and not because

you and our daughter were

bad. No. You Me. I was bad. Right. You felt

out of it and lost and not part of the family at that point because, I mean,

sounds terrible, but you really weren't. Right.

So

all that in my mind, I was done. After after that conversation,

I was done. It was time to move on. I knew for my own mental health

that I could no longer work there. Yeah. And,

yeah, and it if it was affecting us here. You were you would get semi snippy.

I mean, not on purpose. Be honest. Go ahead. Not on purpose. I was an asshole. You would get you'd be grumpy when you got home because it's

7, 7:30.

Yep. You were hungry, and don't fucking talk to Linds when she's hungry.

She'll chew your leg off.

I do get hangry. So does our kid.

But one of the things that the company always said about people who left

was that they couldn't hack it. Right. The company, as the executive leadership, the team would always say about people who left the company is that they couldn't hack it.

What does that say about you as a company? It was never a an internal

culture problem that they felt they needed to address. Exactly.

If you have to say that they couldn't hack it, all these people are leaving because they couldn't hack it. That's the thing. You weren't the only one to bounce within a very short period of time. You're a gaslighter. It was a mass exodus.

This is toxic.

Obviously, it's not them. It's your culture. Right. And

you blaming it on the people that are leaving

is

you are lying. You're once again gaslighting. Yep. You're gaslighting the people that are there. Yep. And I I got really lucky. I had a friend on LinkedIn who is a recruiter. I found a new role. And literally, after I accepted that new role,

my letter to say that I was leaving was not a letter of resignation.

I know.

I think you messed that up, though. I

don't think it was a letter of termination.

I terminated

myself. I am executed.

I mean, that's the mindset I was in. Like, I need to get out of here now. And I swear to god, I did not do that on purpose. No. I did not put letter of termination

on purpose.

I was in such a panic mode to get out

because I knew what was happening with myself.

So, again, talking to Phoebe and hearing her say that she lost her identity, it really, like, hit me over the head. Yeah. Like, I cannot be in a role

where I cannot be present at home and have peace at home Right. Because of work. Like, that is not Right. I can't do that. Well, they I mean,

the mind fuckery that they played on you

created, like,

its own mental health

issue.

Mhmm. Because

claiming that you're not based in reality and what you're saying and doing is not based in reality, that's

borderline telling you, you need to go check yourself in. Mental abuse. That's what I'm saying. Right. Yeah. It's

it's not right. Nobody should say that to anybody unless

you're trying to literally talk your family member into going to check themselves in, which might they might need it. Like, hey. You're saying things that aren't really based in reality. We need to go take you over there. Right. That's not something that your boss does, though.

It isn't.

It shouldn't be for sure. No. It isn't. That's a it's it's mental abuse. You are

making your employee feel like they're wrong at everything.

Mhmm.

And it's been some time now. I I've taken

quite a bit of time to essentially

heal.

I feel like with taking the new role that I or back then, it was a new role. The new role that I had and taking time to honestly reconnect

with myself,

with you, with our kid, like, the whole

personal life aspect

that my new role allowed me, I was able to heal. Yeah. And I'm at a point now where I feel like I

am healthier mentally

Oh, yes. After all that. You still get traumatic flashbacks, but that's I literally had a nightmare last night because I knew we were gonna talk about the podcast.

That's so bad.

It really is, but

I even have a friend that she and I talk all the time. We send each other, you know, Instagram reels all the time back and forth.

Yeah. No.

But it's got she and I comment all the time, we had worked at the same company that

you get to a point where the bad company reels, like, oh, I hate my job reels, you don't connect with them as much anymore.

And that's where she and I are at now. Like, we don't identify so much. It's still funny. Yeah. But we don't identify so much as having that toxicity of a bad company.

And we can tell that we are both healing. She's had less time than me, but

I feel like I've gotten to a point now where, a, I can talk about it without literally feeling like

No, Don. I did something wrong in that whole situation. Right. Literally, that was my dream. The whole dream was I was wrong. Well, that's what they were doing. Right. You not being based in reality is saying that you are wrong. Right.

So, again, I've gotten to the point where I think I am reconnecting with myself, with you, with our kiddo. We are healing. We're moving on, and

I can be

at peace at home

and have work, which, honestly, I feel like I have peace in right now. Yeah. You're good at it. I'm enjoying what I'm doing. I'm having fun.

Well, and And I don't feel like someone is constantly bashing my mental health. Right. And you know what really bugged me about that place too was

you had they made you

grab lunch

every day

and you had to use your own vehicle

and you went out every single day to pick them up lunch all over

bum fuck Egypt.

Is that a bad word?

Is that a real place?

Alright. I'm good.

But my point is, though, is, like, they they had no sympathy to wear and tear on your vehicle.

It was like But honestly, those moments were a reprieve for me Yeah. To get out For sure. And be away. So I didn't see it that way.

Yeah. But I don't I look at it as being

disrespectful

of

you and your time. Like, you weren't

you weren't there to be an errand boy or

a,

you know, DoorDash driver.

But again, like, at the time, I didn't see it that way. But I get what you're saying.

But I think should have given you a vehicle, one of their cars to go pick up food. Maybe.

But

looking back on a lot of it now, like, the role the person that they wanted is exactly what you said. They wanted an errand boy. Mhmm. They didn't want someone who would strive for more. Shit. Is that gender neutral, errand boy?

Moving on. Okay. If you get offended, you should not be listening.

I was just checking. I I just Aaron Aaron Thay. We'll try harder next week if you're not offended. Aaron Zay.

Would you stop

it? Okay. So

but I look back on it now and to that point, again, I do think that's what they were looking for, someone to run those errands.

Whereas

what I want in a company is a place that will let me thrive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You and and they're not afraid for you to

criticize

or Accept. Ask questions

and

make changes.

Mhmm. There, you were forced to be a good little soldier and fall in line. You follow orders or you're dead to me. Right. And again,

I can do that to an extent. Right? I have my own personal goals, things that I want to achieve within my career. Right. I was not allowed to want that.

But you were. See, that's the problem too is your 1st 6 months,

they dangled the golden carrot in front of your face. Right.

They were offering you everything that you've ever wanted in your career. Right.

Multiple times over and over again, and then all of a sudden?

After a year of trying to get to that point? Yeah. After a year of meetings once a week, twice a week to design this this

position,

they said, oh, never mind. We're gonna go ahead and essentially demote you.

Yeah.

So, again, all that to say, it's now

something that I can talk about a little more freely. I mean, I still feel like I got really passionate talking about it. Yeah. But that's normal for something like that. I know. But I I feel like I still have some things to kinda just, like, let go. Right? I feel like this is gonna help with that. 1,

talking about it, putting it out there. And

2, I want

to make the point of

understand

your mental health

and its limits. Right?

If you're

somewhere, I don't care if it's in a relationship. I don't care if it's at a company. I don't care what the deal is, but it is impacting your mental health

and you try to stick it out, the only person you're hurting is you. Yeah. You're hurting you and most likely your family.

Right. Anybody who cares about

you. So

don't do it. Like, identify the problem. And even if it's a job like mine was,

there are other jobs out there. You're gonna have to hustle and find people who are recruiters,

like I did or

find someone out there who's hiring,

just

pound cement. Right? Go and find something to replace the job that you're in and get out. Yeah. Or Agree. Replace the relationship.

Get out. Yeah. Because your mental health is more important

than anything else

in the world.

Without your mental health, you are not you. Yeah. And when you leave or

whatever,

you're gonna be replaced. Yep.

So don't

think like, oh, I'm gonna hurt them if I leave.

You know? No. Well, if they're impacting your mental health and they had no loyalty to you to you to begin with. A 100%.

So

take that out of the equation completely.

Well, I know. Do what's best for you. But some people think I'm not trying to invalidate what you just said. No. I know.

Just some people do think that they've,

you know, they've given a lot of stuff to their company and their company is better

because of them, and if they leave, somebody else is gonna have to

take over their job for a while. They're gonna feel bad.

Well,

they're gonna replace you. If that happens or if this is happening to you and that's how you feel, they never had loyalty to you to begin with. You're a number. Exactly. Period. Move on. You have to for your own mental health.

Speaking of reconnecting to myself,

one thing I certainly did not do during that time

was read. Yeah. I know. You're doing that a lot now. Uh-huh.

A Court

of Thorns and Roses.

Have you've heard of this. Right?

Well, yeah. Because of me or because of social media? Because of you. I don't really do a whole lot of social media stuff. Well, everybody's been talking about it.

A c o t r. Right? Yep.

Is the initials, and everybody's doing reels, and everybody's, you know, gotta walk gotta read these books because they're spicy fantasy.

I've read Spicier, but

what I just wanted to say about it, it is a different type of fantasy

romance ish novel. There's a lot of

the

different courts, meaning if you think of

Game of Thrones families.

Exactly.

There's a lot of that. There's a whole world, different families in it. The, yeah. Fights and battles, those kinds of things.

I did not like the first book, A Court of Thorns and Roses. I did not like that book. Yeah. But The very first one. But you did say it's required reading, though. Absolutely. You should read that before you move on to any of the other books. Get through it. I promise the other books are better. The second, 3rd, and I'm currently on I think she calls it 3.5.

And then there's a 4th, and I think there's a 5th coming out,

are all way well, the ones that I've read so far, so 2, 3, 3.5,

are all way better. Like Yeah. Stories are very well fleshed out.

The romance is there, and some people call it spicy. And I'm like, I've read spicier, but okay.

Spicy.

But overall, I think it's a really good story. Would you read it? No.

Rude.

Why?

It's not my thing.

You've read it, Hunger Games.

It's a little different. Why? That's murdering kids killing each other and shit. And it was like There's a war in this. Yeah. I know. But this was like a revolutionary

thing because So was this? Because of what was it, Pan? Pan Am? Mhmm. Pan Am? Panette.

Pan.

Maybe. Pan. Move on.

The whatever the continent or the country was that they were in in Hunger Games. Oh, my god.

Pan Ami. But,

yeah, they essentially rise up from

slavery

and revolution and

kill the capital people.

A very similar premise exists in this book. Yeah. But this wasn't spicy.

I don't wanna read all that shit.

Oh, please.

When I told you about spicy and you said, I read spicy books, what what what were your examples of those spicy books? Your nerd books. I didn't say spicy. I said that that you said it has to have love in it. And I said, okay. Well, there is love in World of Warcraft.

No. I said sex.

No. You said love.

Aw, honey. Does love sex to you?

Oh my god.

You're so romantic.

Yeah. That's nice.

Talking about a video game book, and you're over here talking, so

So no? No.

I have a hard time reading now.

Why? I don't know.

I I did read

an entire book in, like, 2 days just recently though. StarCraft

book that just came out. That's another nerd one, but

I enjoyed it. I just my Kindle's been stolen. So

That is true.

Kiddo and her bad guy books. Oh, yes.

Just had to get her all those on there, and

she's reading the hell out of them books. Mhmm. She likes those books a lot. I do too, especially Piranha farting all the time and stuff.

But I will work on this. I think I'm we're gonna make a deal so that you read these. Uh-huh. I need a reading partner.

There's book clubs in the neighborhood. Well, I will be joining 1 in February, but until then Goodreads

book club. Discuss it with everybody. Have fun. Thanks.

Okay. Love you. Bye.

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